General memo: re; Atlas Obscura

Dear museum staff,
Sure I should have written sooner. Yes, ALRIGHT! It’s been over a year since I have sent word, but that is absolutely no reason to let standards slip so badly.

Nobody’s done a thing around here since I left, perhaps a little precipitously, following a new and urgent clue as to the whereabouts of the Skin Armour. Yes, ALRIGHT, I may not have found it – at least not in the strict sense of the word, but this has not been time wasted. So, you might see me seem to follow a false lead, a fool’s errand, but I could see the feint within feint, the plan within the plan. I may now be no closer to tracking down the Armor, but I’m starting to get a feel for it.

But I must admit, I’m exhausted. I think you will agree, I need to revive my spirits, re-engage with the problems and my longterm plans here in MoD. So I’ll be leaving immediately on an extensive study tour of our sister institutions around the globe.

Imagine, I didn’t even know that some of them existed.

If it hadn’t been for Atlas Obscura, the collaborative guide to the “singular, eccentric, bizarre, fantastical, and strange out-of-the-way places that get left out of traditional travel guidebooks and are ignored by the average tourist.”, I would still be ignorant of them. Of course the Atlas includes many that are already enrolled in our Fellowship plan and have become fully signed up subsidiaries to MoD, but there are many that wait to be brought into our protection.

So could someone in admin start booking my steamer tickets soonest? I’ve got bone churches, miniature cities, anatomical Sleeping Beauties, architectural follies as well as numerous collections of the desirably odd kind to visit.

By the way... I’ll need money! Lots and lots and lots of money. I can feel a shopping spree coming on. Just reading the descriptions of some of the things on offer – ranging from philosopher Jeremy Bentham’s stuffed hide to Galileo’s finger bone and teetering pagodas – is inspiring me to start purchasing for several new collections.

Someone pack me a clean change of clothes and the necessities, and leave my trunks, money and tickets at the usual place. I’ll take it from there.

And when I get back, I want to see that there’s been a real change of attitude around here. I want to see the Diatom mural salvaged, the Oubliette thoroughly cleaned, and my new collection of shadows cataloged at the very minimum.

Jump to it.

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