Friday, September 22, 2006

MoD Fights Back

Museum of Dust has been under attack. Yes, that’s right. Attack!

We have been infiltrated by clouds of noxious microbes that have insinuated themselves into every nook and infiltrated every nasal cavity.

I have my suspicions about where this microscopic eviltude has sprung from. I don’t think that it’s any coincidence that we have been laid low right at this juncture in history.

It is common knowledge that neighbouring Republic of Tinselman has territorial designs on Terra Incognita… a glance over the borders reveals a country so tiny that its cities are only a fraction of the size they would attain in a more commodious realm. RoT’s Khan has already tried blatant standover tactics – and has not hesitated to bluster on about invasive actions.

So I ask you; is it at all unlikely that he, in collusion with that virtual Beelzebot, Rupert Murdoch, and assisted by the unholy Brad/Angelina duopod, would attempt to undermine and weaken our martial spirit with biological warfare?

The evil trio was snapped by our in-house paperazzi as they plotted together

This is a Khan who wouldn’t understand the meaning of the concept ‘fairness’ even if his hair was painted white and he was renamed Grace Kelly. This is a Khan driven mad by his own power (and possibly, to be scrupulously objective, by his recent and purportedly terrifying experiences at the many hands of the Octo-brain). A Khan inflamed by his own fevered ambitions. This is someone who has wandered so far from the paths of rationality that he cannot tell a octopus from an arachnid.

Of course he would use whatever weapons lay close to hand, no matter how unethical, inhumane and expressly forbidden by the Geneva Convention.

But Terra Incognita’s revenge will be swift and really really frightening! I have sponge-cats – and I’m not afraid to use them. I have janitorial seizing the gauntlet and pushing on with Inky’s arms programs. And when push comes to shove, I’ve got a shoving robot and a pushing robot.

Pak Chooie Unf

Unfortunately, it does appear that everything might have to wait until I don’t have to breathe through my mouth anymore…

*and another thing about those miniature cities: I completely had first dibs on Futurama! I shall make its recapture one of my first priorities.

* Picture credits: Murdoch and Brangelina courtesy MoD
Mouth Breather: courtesy anonymous internet pics (although some say that it is actually a very good likeness of the RoTten Khan...)


Anonymous Khan said...

Okay... that's it... you're no longer a citizen. You're out. Furthermore, we're now at war! And I don't know what your even talking about... you had dibs on Futurama?! I can only conclude you've lost it! I can only conclude one thing (which I will wait to announce... I will announce it to my citizens, not to you).

However, it is a lovely photo of me... thanks at least for that. I'm sure Angelina will be happy about that one.

But I've had it up to here with your lies... and now you will pay!

7:10 am  
Anonymous Director said...

I have assigned dealing with you, you troublesome little Khan, to my cleaning staff.

Futurama WILL be mine!

11:47 pm  
Anonymous Rupert Murdoch said...

I've held my tongue now for so long that I've partially digested my index finger. But after Cog's recent graffito on sanctified RoT territory I have no choice but to let go. For your information,

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