Sunday, September 03, 2006

Pocket Search :: Pockets should be bare

Image by blinkybee

This is what your pockets should look like after searching them. Completely empty. Turn them inside-out to be 100% sure that you are Inky-less.

An unnatural number of people have contacted Museum of Dust to get more information about the correct procedure for checking ones pockets. Let me say this one more time, people: SAFETY FIRST! Read the following carefully!

It is highly recommended that you don’t just shove your hand in and grope about.

Several correspondents have done the obvious thing – ie they’ve gone to an American airport and been searched by security personnel. Not only are these people paid to know how to search things, they are hyper-aware of the dangers… of everything.

'Security Risks': Michele Pred's mound of scissors, corkscrews, and other items confiscated after September 11, 2001, by security at San Francisco's airport. Photograph by SeenyaRita.

And if Inky IS in your pocket…well, it’ll be them that finds him. Couldn’t happen to a nicer type of person.

If on the other hand, you do not have an American airport accessible, then the next best alternative is to use a small child or any other expendable yet skilled pocket explorer. The image below illustrates the correct use of toddlers.


Anonymous Your Illustrious Khan said...

Dear Citizen Cog,

I have hesitated in reporting to you our horrifying Inky-related escape. I apologize... it's been difficult digging in that terrifying dirt. So painful! But I've finally managed to scrape away... for your sake. For Inky's sake. I warn you, however, you may not like what you hear! Inky has changed and... oh, it's all so frightening. I can't bare to dwell on it! The pain, the pain!

2:32 am  
Anonymous Incognita said...

I am overcpome with gratitude that you managed to steel yourself to rcount the entire painful episode. However, I'm sure that it was cathartic and will help prevent Stockholm syndrome.

In the event, it is obvious that you tormentor was not Inky (or at least not OUR Inky), although there is much that is reminiscent of our feisty arachnid's modus operandi, so you confusion was completely natural.

I wouldn't be at all surprised in Octobrain and Inky weren't related somehow.

Perhaps via the vampire sea spider

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