Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Freedom Army Rising!

Hah!

Those Republic of Tinselman rotters are in for a BIG surprise. For a starter it has come to our notice that the arachnids will not take the cuisine-driven devastation visited upon them by ROTOX minions lying down. Well, I suppose if their thoraxes have been yanked off they probably would want a little rest… and perhaps a Bex… but I digress.

It has been immediately obvious to anyone of any intelligence, that RoT has been taking feathers from their secret allies’ caps. Disguising their real intentions with a cloud of official and media misinformation has only been the beginning of their vile tactics. Of greater concern, not just for the unfortunates involved, but indeed for everyone (and everything!) globally is their willingness to make ‘pre-emptive strikes’. This has, as they gleefully reported, included rounding up large numbers of spiders – and rendering them into their constituent parts. In the guise of ‘preventing terror’ Murdoch and his dupes, puppets and toadies have stripped their victims of all rights and romped over the rules that constrain civilized behaviour.

But from the ranks of the arachnids, a hero has arisen!

Spiders everywhere are rallying to a charismatic leader who has vowed resistance to all forms of RoTten imperialism. Little is known about the spider behind the revolutionary. We at MoD know nothing except that suddenly his traces, particularly in the form of graffiti, posters, and stickers, are everywhere!

Our hope is that, whilst La Cacaracha Libre keeps the enemy busy, we will be able to develop effective weapons against RoTs Ultraman squads. My first line of defence is already being drawn up close to RoT’s shores – 'Operation Isopodcast' is green for GO!

Multitudes of giant isopods (Bathynomus giganteus to be exact), are currently waiting in serried ranks for the battle to begin. They are unbeatable! They are superior in every way to anything the RoTten forces can throw at us. Their eyes are MUCH prettier than any Ultraman’s – and they have far more legs… and, our Finance Minister will be pleased to know, they are extremely affordable.*



Thanks to Neatorama for the suggestion >>
More about Isopods at our strongest ally, Wikipedia >>

* Isopods demand only to be fed and, as they feed on dead whales, fish, and squid – and Ultramen – I’m pretty sure we can afford to do that. My only real concern is that they are such guts's that they may gorge on the fallen until they can no longer move … thus compromising their fighting efficiency…

Whatever, I’ve got one or two other surprises for the RoTters if the Isopods fail us.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Ivo said...

Yes, that looks much better. I'll write out a cheque immediately.

1:21 am  
Anonymous Director de Plume said...

Thanks Minister Ivo! Glad that this meets with your pecuniary precepts... However I'd just like to flag that our expenses MIGHT become a little larger in the days ahead. I have one or two other projects that I think might spoil the RoTten Khan's day. Or life.

And that kind of action never comes cheap...

10:37 am  
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