I have realised that I am being WAY too defensive in responding to RoT’s incursions, attacks, invasions and hurtful personal slurs. I think it might have something to do with Inky not being around. He usually deals with this sort of thing. Not only does he have the skills, experience and munitions to scare the bejeesuz out of any would-be offenders, he positively relishes the challenge!
But like he always says; “An appropriate response is a massive response.”
So I’ve taken his lead (only slightly influenced by the urgings of Scam-Scam and despite the protestations of our tightwad Minister of Finance Ivo), and started a massive recruitment drive. Those Ultramen won’t know what hit them…
As my first step, I have enlisted millions of smacks* of giant jellyfish to provide frontline forces in the sea between Republic of Tinselman and Terra Incognita. Japan, where these behemoth blobs have congregated, will be only too glad to see the back of them.
Surprisingly, there’s a limit to how much jellyfish any one country can consume…
These pictures show the sumo jellyfish in action. Impressive! And slimey.
RoT’s forces won’t even make it to the coast! (Although, I do have a couple more surprises lined up for them if they do…)
A few facts for those of you who’re keeping scorecards of the struggle between the forces of reason and enlightenment (us) and the foul RoTters and their vile coterie of celebs and media moguls.
- They are called echizen kurage and grow to 6ft wide and weigh 450lb (200kg), with countless poisonous tentacles.
- Echizen kurage are devastating the livelihoods of fishermen in the Sea of Japan. Nomura’s jellyfish, as they are known in English, is the biggest creature of its kind off Japan. For reasons that remain mysterious, although I personally wouldn't be surprised if Chinese experiments in sending things into outer space to gigantify them have something t0 do with it all, its numbers have surged in the past few months.
- They are destroying the livelihood of many of Japan’s fishermen – fouling and crushing nets, poisoning caught fish and sliming everything they come into contact with. Fishermen on the northern tip of Honshu, Japan’s main island, were forced to suspend work at the height of the lucrative salmon season. In Akita prefecture some communities saw their incomes fall by 80 per cent. The gizzard shad fishers of South Korea have also been plagued by the Nomura’s.
‘How do you tackle an invasion of giant jellyfish? Try making sushi’ >>
'Jellyfish invasion in full swing' via Neatorama >>
* A group of jellyfish is known as a ‘smack’. Any really good suggestions about what the collective noun for a group of Khan-led celebrities is called will be awarded ... something...